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First, I would just like to commend you for the outstanding work you have done and thank you for navigating these issues of race in the way that you do.
It is never easy to tackle since everyone’s feelings and opinions regarding their own background as well as the backgrounds of others oftentimes vary greatly; however, your honest engagement and down-to-earth personality make all the difference.
Before getting into this, I will first state that I am in no way concerned with the Black women or Asian men who genuinely do not find each other sexually attractive for whatever reason.
In other words, I’m not trying to take on the job of convincing Black women to give Asian men a chance who would not want to already (or vice versa). (At the same time I do always find it peculiar when I hear people say that they “just don’t find ‘group x’ attractive.” Can’t help but think it is more complex than that but hey…that’s just me.) I think that the reason for this potential concern stems mainly from the ways in ways in which I feel we are largely represented within American media and (pop) culture.
It is a problem of mass media representation, global cultural and information flows, and a lack of autonomy for people of color (including Asians) to choose how they are portrayed and for and by whom.
The other major concern which I sometimes hear for why Black American and other women may hesitate to consider Asian men as potential partners is that they fear that Asian men are bound by culture, particularly in the form of filial piety.
There are of course exceptions I am sure but I would argue that no matter what, men have never been held to the same standard as women in regards to maintaining cultural/racial “purity” and may as a result have more power to decide whom they date and/or marry than a non-Asian dater may initially think.
What is more, even if this concern were entirely true, its degree of significance would largely depend on how long the family in question had resided in the United States.
Although it can seem tempting to write Asian men off because they or their families may have racist notions about Black Americans, when we broaden our purview we see that the issue stretches far beyond that of the Asian (American) community.
While this may be true for some, I would argue that in general men, regardless of their ethnic or racial background, are given far more freedom to choose their partner than women of the same group.
This can be seen throughout history and across cultures as men were encouraged to not only control the sexual rights of women of their own group, but also to garner the rights of those of neighboring groups as well (in true imperialistic fashion).
During and after college, I have maintained a diverse group of friends and have had the good fortune to travel to various places in Asia including a two year stint in Korea and Taiwan, as well as less extensive periods in Hong Kong, Japan, and mainland China.
Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially (with Black women among others) and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman (who self-identified as such).
My name is Tim and I recently saw a Youtube video you had posted wherein you interviewed Asian men and Black American women in NYC about their thoughts regarding interracial dating and marriage.